Looking Through the Broken Mirror…
Hello all,
Welcome to my hidden cave along the coastline shores. In this home, I hope you find comfort in releasing your most authentic, emotional, vulnerable self with me. This is a complete safe space, I want you, anyone, and everyone, to feel one hundred percent safe in yourself here.
Now…a little bit about myself, and what’s caused me to wash up on the sands here. Firstly, I’d like to start off by saying I can genuinely admit I am happy to be walking and experiencing this beautiful earth today. If I am being honest, I never would have thought that I’d be able to say this statement and genuinely mean it. I’d like to explain a little bit by what I mean by this, rewinding to 2018 I began experiencing anxiety and depression, almost severely. It was the strangest feelings I had ever felt and I wasn’t sure how to combat with dealing with this…my chest would be in pain, my emotions and brain would feel as if they were in space, leaving me to walk around in a daze almost daily…I admit I was very afraid of what was happening to me. I began going to therapy because of this, and other subjects we’ll get into later…but I found therapy was honestly only temporarily fixing me and looking back at it now, it was because I was practically refusing to put the work into really digging into my trauma, my emotional issues, my fears, my heart and mind, all around myself and truthfully, it was because I could not stand myself. I remember thinking “if I can’t stand myself now, why would I want to dig deeper into wanting to know more about this person”, it was literally like living inside a strangers home.
I have always written poetry, journaled, painted, basically have always taken the creative route when it comes to my personal interests and hobbies. However, it wasn’t until last year when I figured out how writing poetry and journaling can be so healing for your emotions, mind, body, and soul. Because of this, I feel as though I’m really beginning to see and live the beauty of life. Of course I still deal with some mental health issues, social issues, physical issues, and emotional issues, just to name a few, that I may not have the best coping skills/mechanisms for, but the beauty behind that is that i’m figuring it out. Just like you are, we’re all simply here, floating along these costal shores together, with no power over the currents of the waters. That is why I have put together this home for myself and for you. I’m only twenty-two, and I still have a shit ton of growing to do and I’m wanting to document every beautiful, painful, chaotic, hopeful moment with all of you and I hope you feel comfortable enough to do the same with me.
Thank you so much for reading this weeks journal. I appreciate you, your time, and your mind more than you could know. Let’s set sail on these waters together and see where the winds guide us…
With great love always,
M.H. John