Five Stages of Grief When Losing Someone Still Alive… (2019)

Denial:

You tell yourself

They just needed a break,

A vacation for a day, for both sanity’s sake.

Until a vacation turns into a week,

And a week to a month, is there any future for us?

As I ask myself this, I realize all the questions I have

Are left wrapped in cellophane, transparent and unable to touch

So I let them burn rapidly inside of my brain…

Anger:

Your presence to me was as calm as the sea,

Until I remember each promise you made to me.

Suddenly, I become a silent rage, a violent wave in the middle of these waters

Because they are no longer soothing, but a stormy spree.

A violent whirlpool where my emotions collide,

In the middle, my heart, no place to hide.

Bargaining:

This is where my “what ifs” come into play,

How they create a false display…

A fake escape from the pain I can’t flee,

Until I’m able to adjust to what my reality has come to be.

Depression:

These blackout curtains still aren’t dark enough for me…

I can still see your face

In every empty picture frame that hangs on my wall, facing me

As I try to fall asleep, but I stare at the wall, relentlessly.

Acceptance:

This is the final stage, I think I’ll be okay,

Because I’ve learned that the sun is no longer an enemy,

But a guiding star for me,

Embracing me in his rays, I now find my peace

In the most simplest ways.

M.H. John