Watercolor Stains (2022)

I know I am not yet healed

Because every night I feel my emotions

Reach a boiling point inside that causes the water

To fall down from within my eyes

Much like the clouds do every time they think about

You + I.

I try to keep distracted

So that mind stays clean

From the thoughts of you

That make a mess out of me.

I catch myself staring at my lock screen,

Waiting for a confirmation message

That this life isn’t for me.

Why would he do this?

I even tried begging the angels for answers too,

Why would he ever let me be without you?

One-Sided conversations are happening every day

Because I still can’t believe that what I'm going through

Is really true,

It hurts you see, to be locked

Inside of all these memories

Where you hold the key, and the knife

That makes my heart bleed;

Handing it backwards, blade facing me,

So that I may clean it, and take the stains

From my pain to blend together

Like watercolor paint.

I use my tears to help create sunset colored hues

Because an ex-lover once taught me

That if you blend the golden color shades together

Right at midnight, just beneath the neon moon,

Then the canvases reflection will create

The true image that is you.

M.H. John