The Blue Hummingbird (2019)

The wind blows in every direction

But somehow it has brought

The blue hummingbird to me.

I can see the hummingbird sitting on my bay window

Fluttering its wings as it watches me.

I look at the hummingbird, as it begins to question me.

“What do you do it for? What are you hiding from? Who are you running from?”

The hummingbird asks.

“Myself”,

I say to the hummingbird

As it stares at me, fluttering its wings

Fast enough to make my wind chime ding.

“Follow me”, the hummingbird demands.

Taking me to a place of where my trauma came to be.

“This is where your happiness begins”, the hummingbird says to me.

“What do you mean?” I ask the hummingbird, “This place is full of anger and rage

and reminds me of people’s selfish ways that’s instilled my hate”,

I say to the hummingbird.

Following, as it leads me down the hallway of memory lane

Flooded by my tears, from trying to escape by sailing away

The hummingbird looks to me and says

“This place is hell for you isn’t it?

Full of pitch black days where you’d lie

Helplessly awake, and listen to the rain,

Praying for ways, ways god could take you away?

Hell is not a place, nor a certain evil,

But hell however, lives within other people and it can come out

In ways of being deceitful.

Instead of flying as a child, You would drown.

Not from the lack of love, But so you couldn’t feel

The world of hurt around you.”

Responding to the hummingbird, I say,

“Yes I understand that.”

Before uttering another sentence, the hummingbird flutters its wings at a faster speed

To silence me, showing a wider reality.

The hummingbird then proceeds to say to me,

“I am trying to explain that you may understand, but you cannot grasp

What is coming to be by clinging to your old energy,

You must let things go, and let them be,

For I am no longer you,

And you are no longer me.

You cannot keep walking this earth

With the burden of me on your back,

Only for the fact that when you cannot sleep at night

You bring a memory of me back.

So let me go, and let me be.

For I am peaceful now

Just as you need to be.”

M.H. John